He made me cry inside

By Kate Cykman and Aiden Doughty 

Growing up on Long Island I was incredibly privileged, 
Anti-semitism was never really a thing I had to live with.
But for my son, growing up in Maine life’s been very different.  

His Judaism has been something to explain to those who do not understand, 
But also something to defend to those who believe that Jews are less than.

I will never forget the first time that he came home from school after experiencing anti-semitism. 

It was early in grade 3, and he had just turned 9.

When he arrived home from school he was visibly crying. 
As the slow tears dripped down his face, 
He insisted nothing was wrong and that he just needed space.

But the truth was, he was afraid to tell me.
Ruminating on messages not to tattle tale, prevented him from being able to share. 
That that fall day, he was playing on the playground when, from nowhere, 
Another student yelled “Hey you, yeah you dirty Jew, be like a rat and hide in the cupboard”.

My Brain malfunctioned as I tried to think of what to say
But was there any advice that would address what I had heard that day?
So I took a different approach ….

I asked the question “ what part has you upset?”.  
“It was not kind, I don’t like small spaces and I’m definitely not a rat.”
Would I share the Holocaust’s terrible events, or meet him where he was at?

Ultimately making the hard decision to have the conversation with my son,
his slow and steady stream of tears, began to quickly run.  
And after I explained about all a 9 year old could handle.

We both sat silently 

Eventually, he asked, “ Mama, why would anyone want to say that when millions of people died?
It’s not nice, and it’s not funny, he made me cry inside”. 

And I realized, 
My child had just asked me the question that had been circling my mind.
Who or what taught this young child to say this?

Fast forward through a couple of long conversations with teachers and school administration, 
Turns out the student learned it from a Youtube video about how Jewish rats are spoiling the nation. 
Yup, it all came from a youtube video. 

Did the child even understand How their words sound?
The hate speech spread like confetti on the playground. 
Or were they just trying to be cool, “like the guy online?”
Did the parents of this child know how they spent their time?

I know this week we are supposed to #shinealight on antisemitism, but I’d like to cast a wider beam of light. 
One in which the world will look at itself, and maybe begin to unite. 
Not  divided by religion or if you’re Black or White?

But where we are simply people. 
Today’s world shows our children a great divide 
Is this the picture we want projected on the woven threads of their minds?

How can we expect the hate speech to unwind
if it’s out there for a 9 year old to find?